Bald.

I'm bald again.

I recently caught myself judging photos of me by whether my thinning hair was evident. Contrary to popular opinion, my hairline has in fact not receded since high school, but it's definitely thinner on top. So, completely disregarding seasonality, I've shaved my head. I didn't really like the 1/4" thing I'd done in the past, so now it's as short as my electric razor will make it. I haven't decided what to do with the beard yet. I know I'm keeping it in some form. I don't think it's so bad as is, but I might transition to something closer to a goatee.

I don't mind thinking about my appearance. I like being in shape, I like clothing, and I like tattoos and my piercings, no matter how inconvenient the eyebrow is with jiu jitsu. What I don't want is my thoughts about my appearance to come from an attitude of apprehension or disappointment or insecurity. My concern was especially useless because of the relative inevitability of losing my hair. I guess I'd rather be bald by choice than by inaction, and let my appearance reflect conscious decisions.