It's not broken, it's got added character

6/16

Driving from Maryland to Tennessee I saw a lot of deer: 4 dead (including one baby) and 2 alive (soon to be dead? I mean deer that hang out around a highway probably aren't long for this world.) After seeing all of the bodies I thought about what I'd do if I saw one.

"Ok. You see a deer. First establish which way it's going, then gently swerve in the opposite direction while tapping the brakes. You don't have ABS, remember to tap. Should I honk the horn or not? Fuck. The deer has started to turn around and run where you're now inevitably going. Car is about to hit the deer. Will your direction of motion keep you on the road? Good. Close your eyes until any sound of breaking glass is over. Open eyes and look around cracks and blood. Continue to apply brakes. Don't oversteer."

When my dad and I drove to Maine last week we'd just read an article about someone hitting a moose and dying, so of course that's what we worried about the whole time. I wasn't worried about other cars (which maybe I should have been, since Maine has a huge drunk-driving rate and it was late at night) but I was nervous about a moose.

After I stopped in Bristol for a break my car wouldn't start. It didn't turn over or anything, the lights just sort of dimmed, so it was obviously a starter motor problem. I tried to push start it, but failed miserably. I had to try to roll it backwards because of the hill available to me. Actually it was just a shallow incline, but when you're trying to push a car it seems important. I was sort of amazed how easy it actually was to move my car around. Anyway, it's hard to push start a car in reverse because of the gearing; you'd need a lot of speed. In the end I had to get someone to turn the key while I crawled under the car and whacked the starter motor with a socket wrench. It came to life immediately, so I guess that's good.

My car has acquired a great list of quirks.

-It has 3 doors: driver, passenger, and trunk. The left trunk hinge is broken, so when you open the trunk you have to actually hold it open or it'll close at a 45 degree angle and probably break the other hinge. I sometimes use an ice scraper to prop it open. When you close the trunk you sort of have to guide it down. The driver side door lock has recently decided not to unlock from the outside when you turn the key, so the only way into my car is by opening the passenger side door and reaching across to unlock the driver's side from the inside.

-I backed into a firepit in Acadia and killed my muffler, so now the car sounds like a Harley when you're accelerating. I figure people pay good money for that, so I should start a business. $100 and I'll customize your exhaust. I'll call it Firepit Mods and no one will be the wiser. Well, unless they look under the car and realize that their exhaust is now wired to the muffler.

-My tape deck, used to hook up my iPod and so of fundamental import, is broken. You have to give it a good, hard whack on the side in order to get the gears to click into place. That always amuses the passengers, especially when they don't get the whack right and I have to show them how to do it.

-Now my starter motor is officially on the fritz after this second time it hasn't started (the first was in Maine in March). I get to look forward to push starting it or banging on the starter motor a lot, I think.

-My windshield wiper arm springs are rusted out and so the arms don't push against the windshield very hard, so unless there's a lot of rain the wipers don't work well.

-The paint, once red, has faded to a matte pinkish color. When it's wet the color's pretty nice, but on a hot, sunny day it looks pretty ridiculous.

-It crunches when you downshift into 3rd gear. The synchros are sort of shot, and to keep it from being truly awful you have to ever so gently ease it down into gear, and even then it's uncomfortable.

I love my car, and I think all of the quirks actually make me more attached to it. Despite the flaws, the thing was doing 90 coming in on I-81 without an issue. It hugs the road, it sips gas, the brakes are... I don't know. Something positive that brakes can be described as doing. The brakes give you pause. They put a stop to doubts. The brakes work... maybe that's enough.